Prometheus: A Film Review Starting with 'Alien', Ad Nauseam.

I initially wanted to begin this review with the luminous background of director Ridley Scott's  career, but it has simply been done to death. We know he's the innovator whose bleak, film noir look of the future launched a thousand rip-offs. With the help of visionary artist H.R. Giger, who seems to never get any love.

For decades after 'Alien', true lovers of the film, not the franchise, have wondered aggravatingly about certain scenes early in the film.  The "Space Jockey" was the subject that kept fanboys in debates and nerdy chatrooms ablaze, all offering wrong theories.

Now, with the help of a scribe from J.J. Abrams & Co., we get the answers to not only what it was, but the origin of the alien species itself.


*****************  SPOILER ALERT *******************


20th Century Fox produced 'Prometheus', the pseudo-cousin cum prequel to 'Alien' for a reported $200 million and you see every penny on screen. Roger Ebert said it best when writing that the 3-D effects are some of the best and most appropriately used for any film. Opting to use it as a visual layer offering depth other than cheap theatrics and scares. "Oh, no! The monster is jumping out of the screen at me!" The production design of the film is flawless, combining signature Scott looks from the aforementioned 'Alien' as well as 'Blade Runner'.  I can not reinforce how beautiful the film is.

That said, ultimately, it is a long bore. Part of the $200 million dollars obviously went to paying off critics because the plodding of its plot was the most sinister thing about it. The creatures offered contrived scares and gaping plot holes.  Why did the infected astronaut go crazy, killing everyone? The plot is one of the most horribly convoluted scripts ever shot and it's all covered up with beautiful cinematography.  The fact of the matter is, J.J. Abrams & Co. has a problem with depth. That was very apparent with 'Super 8', the deepest film he and the boys have pulled off. It's good, but as a love letter to Spielberg, it's not great, but boy does it try.  'Prometheus' doesn't even try. It simply appears with a ridiculous set up that prompts a crew to travel to the far reaches of the galaxy chasing the ancestral origins of humans.  And in your best In-the-Not-Too-Distant-Future voice, say, "But what they find..............................no one expected." Or cared for that matter.

Noomi Rapace of  The Millennium Trilogy is the film's one saving grace. Everyone else just looked happy to be there. Charlize Theron plays a bitch for the third time in a row. Guess it doesn't help that I'd just seen her days prior in 'Snow White and the Huntsman', so it became Theron on Bitch Mode, Level 8.

The last shot of Rapace's 'Dr. Elizabeth Shaw' flying off in one of the handily available crafts is such a kick in the gut.....I mean, I haven't seen such preening movie critics lying about how good something is since George Lucas released his disastrous Episodes 1 - 3.  Remember those? Walked in like I was ready for the party and walked out like I'd attended a wake.

I think it's safe to say that the 'Alien' franchise is dead. 

Who can wait another 30 years for a decent one?